Attraction.

I love people. Too much sometimes. However, I don't love people; want their affection, pine over them. I used to, but there was one problem: I felt unhappy about myself, and unhappy people never have happy relationships. As a young, pubescent, high school underclassman, I often fantasized about finding someone that fancied me, only when they did, I was too scared to get too close. Nothing terrified me more than the possibility that they didn't feel the same way about me! I'm no longer that way: I'm confident and joyful, especially without a significant other. In fact, I don't want anyone. Girls my age talk about their future, saying "When I get married, when I have kids"....why when? How do you know that it'll happen? There's no predicting the future, but if I were to say that about anything, it'd be my career. I know that I love music. I know that I love helping others. Therefore, after finding myself, I can honestly say that when I get older, I will be a music therapist, and possibly obtain a PhD in developmental psychology. I can't tell you that I'm going to marry someone and have eight children. Hell, I don't know that I want children, and I think that's very healthy for my age; I want a career, and naturally, everything else will fall in place.
I'm happily alone, and in no way lonely. If you're not happy on your own, you can't truly be happy with your significant other. Maybe you will be for a while, but when things get rough, the relationship falls apart.
But I'm not here to talk about myself like the narcissist I am.
Within my social circle, there are few boys, and many, many girls. Because there's one guy for every ten girls, relationships get a little sticky, and boys become unfaithful. In this case,  all of the chickadees can't deny this one guy: the straight-from-General Hospital, gorgeous, sensitive, jaded, flirtatious, and horribly unfaithful Aidan. Aidan appears to be more mature than the other boys, but everyone he's been with eventually hates him. Yet, the girls still pine over him uncontrolably. I guess that men aren't the only horny ones! They like the idea that they're his favorite 'one and only', when he's really seeing ten other people. He manipulates them, uses them, and leaves them with a bitter taste in their mouths.
Recently, he's stooped to a new low.
He chose to pursue the kind, soft spoken, intelligent, naive Elaine. Elaine's a younger girl that I find charming and realistic, which is why I think it's strange that she's so entranced with him. Of course, she fell for his lies, but now, when others tell her about their recent escapades with Aidan, she denies his involvement.
My Holden Caulfield complex wants me to yell "Stop! You're going to tumble through the rye and off the cliff! You'll end up in the hospital, covered in bruises!" , but the realistic side of myself knows that no matter what I do, she won't listen. The only way that she'll learn is by falling off that cliff, and getting a concussion so terrible that she'll suffer a comatose. Naturally, I want to prevent it, but we must learn through our own mistakes. All I can do is watch, and if she allows it, help mend Elaine back to health. Aidan may never change, but Elaine will grow from it.
This kind of thing happens to every girl in one way or another. We find love, lose it, feel tremendous pain, and eventually find happiness and reconciliation.
If only I could speed up the process.

Well Hello.

I'm not all that sure as to how to start blogging. Is there proper etiquette for it? I don't know. Either way, I don't think I'd follow those rules.
Anywho.
My name is Lauren, and I'm seventeen years old. There's too much to say in so little time, so rather than telling you now, in my following blogs you'll truly find out who I am through my stories. However, in the meantime, I'll try to stick it in a nutshell.
I'm quite philosophical, and I view life through existientalism. If I followed any religion, it would be Buddhism, but I don't because of my love-hate relationship with organized faith. I don't love everything, but sometimes it feels like I do. I'm an in-your-face liberal, though I'll never force my views on a soul. Obstacles and wonderfully eccentric people have shaped my life. I love music, and Lady Gaga helped me save myself. It sounds silly, but I'll explain later.
Hundreds of people pass by me every day, but so few know me. In fact, unless you're a VERY close friend of mind, you're one of those people. Think of some words that you think describe me based on first impression. Now, erase them all from your mind, and accept this: unless you know me, you don't know me. I'm beyond shameless, wounded, and happy.
If any of this surprises you, consider it a fresh start.
In my blog, I'm not just going to talk aimlessly like I am now (because quite frankly, this is shitty writing at its best), I'll instead tell stories that either characterize my life, or don't have much to do with me, but I'll express my opinions through them.
As for the title of my blog: I'm not in Paris, and whether or not I'm a fat ass is based on how shallow you are. Judge for yourself:

I'm the chickadee. In my stories, they very well might involve you, so I'll change the names of those involved. I don't have much else to say, so stay tuned if you please. If not, I hope the rest of your life is lovely.
-Lauren